One thing I’ve learned—both personally and through years of coaching—is that when someone feels stuck, unmotivated, or disconnected from the life they say they want, it’s rarely because they don’t know what to do.

Most people know what they want.
Most people know what would move the needle.
Most people even know what they’re avoiding.

What they often don’t realize is how deeply their environment, and specifically the people in it is influencing their energy, their choices, and their follow-through.

We are the energetic sum of the top five people we choose to spend the most time with.

Not just emotionally. Energetically. Nervously. Subconsciously.

And before we go any further, yes, we’re excluding children from this list. They are here to stretch us, humble us, and occasionally send us straight into a nervous system spiral, no matter how “healed” we are.

But outside of that?

The people you regularly engage with are either expanding your capacity… or quietly reinforcing the version of you that feels stuck.

Energy is contagious (whether we want it to be or not)

One of my core coaching principles is this: energy always comes before action.

You can’t sustainably create a new life from a depleted, dysregulated, or misaligned nervous system. And your nervous system is constantly responding to the people around you—what’s normalized, what’s tolerated, what’s encouraged.

If the people in your life:

• Complain constantly 
• Dismiss your goals
• Normalize burnout, numbing, or staying small
• Make you feel “dramatic,” “too much,” or unrealistic for wanting more

Your system learns to contract.

On the other hand, when you spend time with people who:

• Take responsibility for their lives 
• Speak honestly but compassionately
• Care about growth, health, and integrity
• Hold themselves, and you, to a higher standard

Your system expands.

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about awareness.

Why motivation feels so hard sometimes

If you’ve ever said:
“I know what I want to do, I just can’t seem to do it”
“I feel uninspired and flat”
“I keep self-sabotaging even though I want better”

I want you to consider this gently:

It may not be a discipline issue.
It may not be a matter of willpower.
It may be an environmental mismatch.

When your desire for growth outpaces the environment you’re in, your body feels that dissonance. And often, instead of pushing forward, people shut down, procrastinate, or numb out.

That’s not a weakness.
That’s your system saying, something needs to change.

You don’t have to cut people out, but you do need to add people in

One of the biggest misconceptions in personal growth is that leveling up requires burning bridges or abandoning people you love.

That’s not what I teach.

What I do teach is intentional expansion.

You are allowed to love people and still outgrow certain dynamics.
You are allowed to keep relationships and still seek spaces that nourish you.
You are allowed to want more without making anyone else wrong.

Sometimes the most powerful shift isn’t who you remove—it’s who you add.

New conversations.
New perspectives.
New standards.
New energy.

When you place yourself in rooms—physically or energetically—where growth is normal, accountability is kind, and self-responsibility is expected, you don’t have to force change.

Change happens naturally.

This is the foundation of my coaching work

At the core of my coaching is this belief:
You don’t need to become someone new. You need to create an environment that supports who you already are becoming.

That includes:

• Regulating your nervous system
• Becoming aware of energetic leaks
• Taking radical responsibility without shame
• Aligning your habits, boundaries, and relationships with your values
• Learning to trust yourself again

When people change their environment, their energy shifts.
When their energy shifts, their choices shift.
When their choices shift, their life follows.

A gentle question to sit with

Take a moment and ask yourself:

Who am I spending the most time with right now?
How do I feel after I’m around them?
Do they reflect where I’m going, or where I’ve been?

There’s no right or wrong answer. Only honest ones.

And honesty is always the starting point for transformation.

If you’re feeling the pull for something more—more clarity, more alignment, more self-trust—it may not be because you need to try harder.

It may be because you’re ready for a different energetic container.

And that’s where the real work begins.